Life of Steve

History Uncorked: Review

Orginal Post Date (03/16/2005)
Orginal Event Date (03/11/2005)

History Uncorked at the History Center in the Strip District  was a very fun event. I had never been in the History Center before and I was impressed at the size and how nice it was inside. I particularly liked the section that showed things about Pittsburgh throughout the years. For example: Kennywood, what homes of Steelworkers in the past looked like. Examples of Houses from the early settlers, one of the first jeeps made for WWI in a factory nearby, etc. Other activities that were going on were a Jazz Band on the 5th floor, a DJ on the first floor, Wine and food available on every floor. Karaoke and a silent auction.

I have to say I was impressed overall. When I compare this to the wine and chocolate event I went to recently History Uncorked blew it away! Thinking ahead to next year I will probably skip Wine and Chocolate (and all those pretentious hippy artists) and instead enjoy myself at History Uncorked with better entertainment, music, food, wine, and venue.

A Don Pablo’s Story

Orginal Post Date: 03/02/2005

So last Saturday we went to Don Pablo’s for an early dinner (around 4:30PM)
figuring on beating the crowds. For some reason there was a 45 minute wait (even
though half the tables were empty. We found out more about why this was later) so
we took our name off the list and went up to be served in the Bar area. There was
only one guy up there working the bar and like 8 tables. Even though he was really
busy he did a great job of taking care of us and so I gave him a big tip.
Unfortunately, since I was in a rush to get to Wine and Chocolate, I mistakenly left
my credit card in the little black folder instead of putting it in my wallet.

So on Sunday when at the grocery store I realized that I no longer had my credit
card and tried to call Don Pablo’s but no one answered the phone. I tried again on
Monday while (at work in a room full of my fellow consultants) at about 11:30am
figuring I get someone on the phone who could let me know if they still had my
credit card. When I call someone answers the phone “Janie?” At which point I
asked “ummm. I’m not Janie, but is this Don Pablo’s?” She replies that it is Don
Pablo’s but they are closed. I asked why they were closed at lunchtime and she
replies that they are closed forever. (This would explain why they were short staffed
during dinner on a Saturday night. Guess they didn’t really care at that point.) So
she says that some suits from corporate were in this weekend and she would
check on my card. So when she comes back she tells me that my credit card was
shredded? So I said “I left it there less than 36 hours ago, you shredded it
already?” Then she mumbled something about corporate policy to destroy credit
cards when they shut down a restaurant. At which point I stated “Well…. Thank you
for confirming the destruction of my credit card.” Immediately the rest of the
consultants in my room burst into laughter. I guess that did sound pretty funny.

Good news is that I canceled the card, no fraudulent charges were on it, and I will
get a new one in the mail soon.

The End.

The Feast of Saint Valentine

Orginal Post Date: 02/03/2005

How about we all go to church on this holy day instead of our current method of
celebration? 

Here are the problems I have with the holiday:

If you are not dating someone it’s a great time to feel really crappy about that fact
(While you watch all those other lousy couples doing their weeklong celebration.)

If you are dating someone you have the stress of coming up with gifts, events, etc to
at least keep on par with the other “wonder couples” that you will be compared to.
(ex: So and so took “his” girlfriend to Paris for Valentines day. CUT IT OUT with the
over the top stuff. Please! For the sake of us all.)

If you are single and have friends that are “coupled up” expect them to vanish for
the weeklong v-day celebration (I thought it was valentines “day.” What happened?)
Write the week and the weekend off You just won’t get to see your friends. They
need their “special” time.

Too many diamond ring commercials. I am wondering how many people get
engaged on Valentines Day because a ring was the only think he could think of to
buy for her. (Hey! I saw it on TV.)

It’s too soon after Christmas. While all my credit card bills are arriving, here comes
Valentines Day!

Valentines day is too close to my birthday. (Feb 13th) Whenever I try to do a
celebration for my birthday I lose everyone who is dating since I had the nerve to be
born on a day too close to Valentines Day. As a result I am interfering with
“couples” time. This year I am going to try for a week after. Steve gives up.
Valentines Day…. You beat me

He’s Just not that into you: Book Review

Original Post Date: 12/13/2004

This book was written by: by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo

I had heard about this book originally on the (now defunct) Colin Quinn’s
Tough Crowd Show. A friend of mine also had told me that all of her
girlfriends were reading it as well. So I borrowed the book from her and
quickly read it to find out what all the fuss was about.

My assessment:

First of all. The book actually makes sense! Amazing that a book written for
women is (for once) not just a load of psycho babble, male bashing, and
telling you what you want to hear (ex: you are a goddess and above all
creation.) Now here is the reason why the book makes sense. It was mostly
written by a guy. Technically it was co-written by this guy and some other
chick from Sex in the City but mostly her parts are mere disbelief (or self
delusion) of the truth that Greg (The male author) is dishing out.

Greg pushes out a lot of wisdom which really should be common sense. Some
examples include:

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. (Because if he likes you,
trust me, he will ask you out)

"Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it
comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be."

Maybe he forgot to remember me. (If he likes you, he'll still remember you)

If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you. (Men run the world. We are
capable of dialing a phone.)

He’s just not that into you if he’s sleeping with someone else.

He’s just not that into you if he’s breaking up with you.

….and so on.


Now here is something I would like to note though. This book will fail to help
most women because they will either: 1. Not believe or listen to the truth that
is being told. 2. Misunderstand the book. Or 3. Both.

This book is geared toward women who want to get into a serious relationship
and get married. A lot of what Greg tells you is how to identify the men who
either cannot or will not do this with you so you don’t waste much of your time
with them. So if you are not looking to settle down or date one guy in a
serious relationship following what is in this book would be a disaster. Trust
me, you will eliminate a lot more guys than you will accept by listening to
Greg. If you like to have lots and lots of guys in a casual scenario don’t even
read it.  Another reason you will misunderstand this book is that Greg tells
you to not put up with certain behavior. What he fails to explain though is the
behavior he is against is for “important” things. For example: If he is married,
not having sex with you, having sex with someone else, never asks you out,
etc. These are important and significant things. I would be willing to bet
money that women will misinterpret this to mean “everything” including small
and silly things. Like, if he doesn’t watch the academy awards with you, goes
ice skating, or shopping he’s not that into you. (BUZZER SOUNDS) WRONG!
Focus on the important and not the trivial, no one is perfect.

The tough love and truthful approach is pretty refreshing in this book. It’s a
good read and might restore a portion of your sanity (assuming you had any
to begin with.) I would reiterate my previous warning though. If you are playing
the field and sowing your oats don’t read this book. It won’t help you unless
you are looking for a real relationship and a husband.

The Young and The Restless: Analysis

Orginal Post Date: 12/2/2004

I read this article on the Pittsburgh Post Gazette and had some analysis
regarding the “Quarter Life Crisis.”

Click here to access the story:
http://www.postgazette.com/pg/04336/419453.stm

The Problem(s):

-I gave my child everything. What went wrong? Not learning lesson that
getting what you want can be challenging and may require some blood, sweat
and tears. To me this is pretty simple. Children (and some adults) simply
need to learn that you will have to put effort forward to achieve something.
That might be getting the item you want, it might be having a friendship or
relationship with someone. It could be a lot of things. But when you fail to
teach this lesson you should not be surprised when they don’t understand. 

-Unrealistic Expectations created: happy young folks who were hired right
out of college (into fun, satisfying, well-paying fast-track jobs that allowed
them to save up enough within a year or two to marry their soul mates and
buy beautiful homes and live happily ever after. Where did this expectation
come from? I am still scratching my head over this one. I never had that
expectation. I expected to have to make contacts, do internships, and
everything I could in school to give myself the “best chance” (not a
guarantee!) of getting a good job out of school. In addition, I expected to
have to leave my hometown of Pittsburgh to do it. Where I would need to
rebuild my social life (with the exception of my girlfriend who I was still dating,
but was out of town) from scratch. I suppose some may have Observed some
people who actually pulled it off (That happy young rich soul mate thing) More
than likely watching TV programs about young successful people made
people believe it is universally true and would be for them. Some of the
successful people I know never went to or finished college. While I believe
education is important it is not a guarantee of success. Which transitions
into…

-Reality Bites: the trauma of discovering college life does not prepare one
for working life because (Being good at school has nothing to do with being
good at life) Quarter Life Crisis at age 25. Here you are back with Mom and
Dad after being the smartest in your class at the college of your choice in the
major of your choice that that got you into either 1. A job that doesn't make
you any money. 2. A job unrelated to your interests. or 3. Both. Well I
suppose this sort of goes back to the college thing I was talking about. You
got great grades in college but what did you do to prepare for “after” college?
Don’t bother to answer. I already know. You “didn’t.” Guess what?
EVERYONE (almost) goes to college. I hate to break it to you but it doesn’t
make you special. YOU better make yourself special enough to convince
someone to hire you at what you want to do making gobs of money (assuming
it is possible for what you want to do. Ex: Soap Opera watching might not pay
too well in any case.)

-...But not for others: your peers or brothers or sisters start getting married
and buying lovely furniture. Someone who married their high school or
college sweetheart won't understand the complexities of dating in the 21st
century (if you can call it dating.) BTW I won’t go into the whole dating in the
21st century thing in detail since it is too big to tackle in this one. While I
suppose it is possible to be the poor snow white (or a dwarf) who bags the
rich price or unfortunately here in America (capitalist country) a lot of
attraction is based on (perceived) success. If you watch TV that is why all the
male actors are rich doctors and the female ones are rich lawyers (and of
course they are all beautiful.) However, there is also the case where to reach
that level of success you end up working so much and so hard where you can’
t meet that “Prince or Princess” soul mate person. In other words, you are
either: making good money, and wondering why you're bored and lonely.
People who are making 8 bucks an hour at some stupid service job would
love to be you BTW. If you're underemployed and broke, you'll wonder why
employers don't recognize your tremendous talent and worth. Might be ok
while you are searching for a job right after college but after years go by this
just isn't cutting it. So in a nutshell, some of the people you are jealous of are
lucky; some made their own luck. If you were not lucky, try the second option.

The Successful and Miserable

Orginal Post Date: 10/29/2004

I am noticing something about professional successful people who seem to
have everything going for them. Why are they all nuts? Why do they all
require therapy? My guess is that somehow they are wired to worry about
stuff even when nothing to worry about exists.

Did you ever notice that people with *real* problems don’t seem to need a lot
of help figuring out why they are unhappy? For example if you lose your job
you have a real reason to be upset. You might not be able to pay your rent or
car payment. Another example, your house was destroyed in a flood. You lost
all your stuff and may not be able to rebuild. Or your son or daughter was in a
car accident. Or you were in a car accident. Or you live in the Ghetto and
your neighbors are drug addicts who shoot guns at children in the
playgrounds for fun. Or Penn State’s football team sucks. (Ok I know this one
does not apply, but you get the point.) My point is that these are examples of
real problems. It’s not too hard to figure out the cause of your unhappiness if
something like this occurs to you.

Lets take another example (of a more difficult problem to pin down because it’
s imaginary.) You have a successful career, make tons of money, live in a
great apartment, have a decent social life, a nice car, a romantic interest that
is going well, have the means to do pretty much whatever you want to (ex:
travel to California, Italy, or Guam) on a whim but you are unhappy. Well you
know what? You don’t have a reason to be unhappy. Not a rational one
anyways. Since the non-trivial problems (from the previous paragraph) do not
seem to apply by definition you are upset about something “trivial.” In fact you
are probably just impossible to satisfy. But when you go to your shrink they
will somehow figure out something that happened to you or something that is
wrong with you that requires further billable hours (Go Figure!) They wouldn’t
make much money if they just said “Quit Whining. You got everything going
for you. Help out a poor person if you really think you life is so bad. Later.”
Instead they will first try to blame your parents, then the rest of your family,
and then explain how your pet rabbit biting you when you were 3 years old is
causing you to cry when you buy shoes you thought you liked but now look
stupid with your favorite outfit. Or the fact that your latte was slightly colder
than you wanted makes you angry with your significant other. Or “It’s raining!”

Let me save you some money right now you will spend with your quack! Quit
whining! Lots of people are worse off then you! Count your blessings. Stop
being so demanding! Just be happy! You’re welcome. There is no charge for
this visit with Dr. Steve.

What I want out of Life- Part II

Orginal Post Date: 09/30/2004

It’s funny. When I tossed out this subject for input it actually made me think
about those college essays that you had to write when applying to schools. I
remember actually answering the same question verbally for a strange school
that I won’t mention (Grove City College) during an on campus interview. As I
recall my answer had me at age 25 as a highly paid accountant married to
another highly paid accountant! ( I know I know. It sounds more like I was
playing the game of Life or something.)

First let’s go back.

Time machine: (Set Time circuits for circa Steve’s Graduation from
PSU)

-So Steve. What will you be doing at Age 22? OK. This puts me in the year of
1996. It appears that I am living in Baltimore by myself. Wondering why I am
there. Making money that I am mostly saving for MBA School. Working with a
bunch of people my parents age as a Network Engineer and not really doing
much of anything except studying Tae Kwon Do. Not really what I envisioned
doing after college as a High School Senior. Let’s skip ahead. Maybe it gets
better.

-Ok. Here we are in 1998. I am back in Pittsburgh working on my MBA. Now I
am 24 and living back at home again with my parents (Didn’t really think I
would be doing that again after College Graduation. But it probably won’t
happen again right?) Racking up some debt after having gone through all my
savings paying off Katz Graduate School of Business. Having a great time
though with my old high school friends and lining up offers which will double
my previous salary. My future life is looking pretty rosy I suppose.

-In 2000 it’s all about the Dot.com’s!! Brian and I decide that The Net is the
way to go (To get to the fame, fortune, and fabulous lifestyle.) I end up in Las
Vegas working for one and it’s starting to look like I might have everything I
want out of life. Tons of money, parties everywhere, women and wine all
around, good buddies to hang out with, and “the sun is shining every day.”
This rules!! It will NEVER end!

-It’s 2001 and ummmm. It like ended. Dot.com layoffs have taken my high
paying job and I am living off my savings. All those fun people I used to hang
out with are broke too and trying  not to lose their houses (as am I.) I don’t
own a woman or kids but I am renting some. No prospects in sight and old
comrades leaving for greener pastures. Looks like I peaked. I suppose those
8 months were it.

-It’s 2002 and I am back in Pittsburgh and once again living in my parents
house. (uhhh was that supposed to happen again???) Of course now I am 28
and it’s a bit discouraging. Looks like I am starting at the bottom again in a
town where I don’t have any connections (been out of Pittsburgh too long)
and the economy still sucks. Hey I got a job at Alcoa though and the social life
is being rebuilt. Maybe I have turned a corner?

-It’s 2004 and I am 30. Working as a consultant which is going extremely well.
Studying Capoeria and having lots of fun in The ‘Burgh. Lots of wine but
lacking in the quality women (Hey! The West Coast Offense doesn’t work on
the East Coast Girls!) It’s not 2000 anymore but Life is looking OK overall.


Back to the Future! (beyond 2004)

So I am sure you get the jist. This has been a roller coaster ride to say the
least. Do I have what I want out of life? Not yet.

What I want out of Life (That I don’t have yet) is this:

Like Part 1 being in healthy shape is important to me. My grandfather died of
a heart attack after having multiple which at age 30 means I need to start now
to avoid a similar fate. I try to work out at the Gym as often as I can and eat
right. But I still have a ways to go.

Professionally I would like to be able to strike that balance between money
and lifestyle that is so hard to achieve. Money is good but it’s a means to an
end. What good is the money if you don’t have time to spend it? What good is
time if you have no money to spend? I know people who are in much worse
shape than myself who have neither sufficient time (due to working strange
hours at low paying jobs) nor the money to follow their dreams. Some of these
people are somewhat lost. Very much like myself in my mid-20’s, so I can
relate. They can probably relate very well to the previous section (time
machine) since they are there now. So I suppose where I am at really isn’t
bad. But I am still searching for that place where I can make the money to go
sailing, to the beach, to Europe, or just get out in the sun on a perfect
September Afternoon without concerns or be golfing with my buddies who feel
the same way.

Personally, ultimately I would like to have the loving wife, the kids, and the
dog. (Hopefully in that order. Ok. Maybe I would get the dog 1st) White picket
fence around the house in the suburbs. Vacation house at the Beach, etc.
Not that I have an expectation that I will get all of that in the next 12 months.
But in the next 5 years would not be bad at all. Right now I would not put
myself anywhere close. I know I don’t have a wife. I don’t think I have kids and
I think I would know if I had a house or a dog somewhere.

You know what? I get that if I had all of this my life would be dramatically
different. You know what else. I know I am adaptable enough to make the
sacrifices that would be required of me when that is true. (Yes I really do
understand that when the kids need to go to T-ball I won’t be out at Happy
Hour with my buddies.) Finding someone else who “gets that” is a whole
different ballgame (Trust me. I’ve been looking.)

One more thing. Assuming that all this was mine would I be satisfied? No. I
would be happy but not satisfied. My nature is not complacent and I would still
be looking for new things to do, places to explore, and dragons to slay,
adventures to have (so I have stories to write on my web site ;)  ) BUT, I would
be in a position to do all of that while having the satisfaction of knowing that I
did experience the major things I wanted from Life. That is the difference, and
the goal.

Reruns

While I am on vacation next week I will be posting some of the "Best Entries" from my old Blog. Since I have been wanting to move some of the content over from the old site anyways, this will acomplish that as well as providing some "new" content for my newer readers. Enjoy!